Sunday, December 28, 2008

Yaadein : Journey Of My Life


Hello frenz, this is just to inform you that I have created a new blog called "Yaadein". Its a series of blogs where I will share the good & bad moments of my life, my childhood, my family, my school & college days, my friends, my infatuations & crushes, my orkut days and all those moments when I was praised, abused, awarded, scolded etc etc etc. I'll try to deal each and every phase of my life in detail. School ki wo shararat, wo doston ke saath milkar shaitaniyan karna aur bhi bahut haseen pal jo abhi bhi dil ke kone mein kahin base hain, ek-ek karke sab raaz kholne ki koshish karoonga. I'll also turn over the pages of my virtual life (i.e. orkut and yahoo), my ownership and my virtual friends etc.


The link of my blog "Yaadein" is given below:


http://imran-yaadein.blogspot.com/


So, all those who want to know the story of my life may mail me their gmail id or they may also leave an offline message on Yahoo Messenger as I haven’t made this blog public. I don’t want the whole world to peep into my life. I want to share it with some of my friends only. So, those interested may:


Mail me at : midas.co.in@gmail.com

Or, leave an offline message on : midas_b4u@yahoo.co.in


Last but not the least, I have created one more blog on jokes and humour “ Aaja Hans Le”. Agar aap pet pakadkar hasna chahte hain then login to :


http://my-fun-zone.blogspot.com/





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Friday, December 26, 2008

Bizarre Bollywood

Hello everyone, I am back with yet another humorous write-up. I was thinking yesterday as to which topic shud I choose for my next post. After thinking for a while, I decided to write something on "Indian Film Industry i.e. Bollywood" from where I get most of my witty ideas. The Indian Film Industry is the largest in the world in terms of ticket sales and number of films produced annually. This industry is 95 years old, with the first silent film named "Raja Harishchandra" hitting the screens in the year 1913.

You must be wondering what is so funny about this topic. Well, after a glorious journey of 95 years, most of the films still have the same story and same dialogue. Aisa lagta hai ki remake ka ye silsila kabhi khatam nahin hone wala hai. Hollywood biggies and old bollywood classics are the main source behind these remakes. Itne saare films banenge to aisa to hona hi hai. Script ped par to ugte nahin ki toda aur shooting karna shuru ho gaye. Isliye yahan wahan se lekar kaam chalana padta hai [:d].

Its quite obvious ki agar itni saari filmein banengi to galtiyan to honi hi hai. Yahi haal hamare film industry ka hai. Bahut saare to aise scenes hote hain jo hazmola khakar bhi hazam nahin hote. Lets have a look at some of them :

1. Hero ko jab goli lagti hai ya jab wo villain se pitayee khata hai to usse zara bhi dard nahin hota hai lekin jab heroine uske zakhmon par marham lagati hai to hero zor ka chillata hai. (Pata nahin director heroine ko dettol ki jagah savlon kab dega [:d])
2. Make-up ek baar lag jaye to kabhi nahin hatta, permanent ho jata hai; chahe barish ya rone dhone ka scene hi kyon na ho. (Lagta hai make-up mein fevicol ka kuch zyada hi use hone laga hai)
3. Villain machine gun se hero par firing karta hai lekin hero ko kuch nahin hota lekin hero apne revolver ke ek goli se 10 gunde ko maar girata hai. (Hero yahan kya kar raha hai?? [:o] Isse to military mein hona chahiye [:p])
4. Hero cycle par sawar hai, phir bhi car se bhag rahe villain ko pakad leta hai (Hero ko to Formula 1 mein participate karna chahiye)
5. Mele mein bichde judwa bhai 20 saal baad family song gaate hue mil jate hain (Jabki wo song humlog film khatam hone ke 2 minute baad bhool jate hain)
and many more.......

Ab to aap samajh hi gaye honge ki agar aise scenes hon to tragedy film dekhte hue bhi aapko hansi aa sakti hai. Moving ahead, now lets talk about the dialogues. Jab sab kuch repeat ho rahe hain, sabke remake ban rahe hain to dialogue bhala peeche kyon rahe. Let me put top 15 ghise pite dialogues in front of you:

15. Mother - “Kya isee din ke liye tujhe paida kiya tha” (Pahle ye to batao ki aaj din kaun sa hai?)
14. "Tum mere liye mar chuke ho" (ufff itna gussa sehat ke liye theek nahin hai [:d])
13. "Khabardar jo mujhe haath bhi lagaya to" (Ab kya dettol se haath dhona padega?[:o])
12. Farmer - "Maine is zameen ko apne khoon se seencha hai" ( Kyon is saal baarish nahin hui kya??)
11. Villain - "In gori gori kalaiyon ko kaam karne ki kya zaroorat hai" (Lagta hai aaj ye toote hue sandle se pitega ya phir sandle tootne tak pitega [:p])
10. "Ab hum kisi ko munh dikhane ke layak nahin rahe" (Kyon kisi ne munh par tezaab phek diya kya??)
9. "Bhagwan, maine aajtak tumse kuch nahin maanga" (To aaj apni shakal lekar is darwaze par kyon aa gaye??)
8. "Aye jee, aap bade wo hain" (Arre pahle koi "woh" ka matlab bhi to batao[:o], dictionary mein bahut dhoonda lekin nahin mila [:d])
7. "Main tumhare bina nahin jee sakta/sakti" (To mar jao, simple[:p])
6. "Maine tumhe kya samjha aur tum kya nikle" (Kyon ye alien lagta hai kya??)
5. "Hato na, log kya kahenge" (Live telecast chal raha hai kya?? [:o][:d])
4. "Is ghar ke darwaze tumhare liye hamesha ke liye band hain" (band kar do...munni bai ka kotha kab kaam ayega [:p])
3. Doctor - "24 ghante ke andar agar hosh nahin aaya to....." (Lagta hai bachpan mein fill in the blanks banane mein bahut maza aata tha isse[:d])
2. "Bachaaaoooo" (Kisko bachaoon?? Heroine ko ya villain ko [:d])

and the most famous of all..........

1. "Main tumhare bachhe ki maa banne wali hoon" (Ab samajh mein aaya ki India ka population itni tezi se kaise badh raha hai[:d])

Ufff kaan pak gaye hain aise ghise pite dialogues sun sunkar, director shud cut all these and try to come out with something new everytime.

95 saal ka safar chota nahin hota. Us zamane ke aur aaj ke zamane ke filmon mein kuch similarities bhi hai aur kuch differences bhi. Pahle ki filmon mein hero / heroine ek ped ke neeche gana gaana shuru karte thein aur usee ped ke neeche gana khatam ho jata tha lekin aajkal ke filmon mein hero / heroine 4 minute ke gaane mein 4 naye outfits mein 4 location ghoom aate hain. Yeh to hua difference, ek similarity jo mujhe yaad aa raha hai wo ye hai ki pahle ki filmein silent hua karti thee aur aajkal ki filmon mein jabse Emran Hashmi aur Mallika Sherawat jaise actors aa gaye hain tabse aajkal ki filmein bhi zyadatar silent mode mein hi hoti hain [:d].

Ab actors ki baat start ho hi gayee hai tab thodi nazar in par bhi daal lete hain. Talking about Mallika Sherawat, jab se inhone film industry mein kadam rakha hai tabse hanky ki bahut shortage ho gayee hai. Inke saare outfits 2 hanky mein bane hote hain [:p]. Mujhe to lagta hai ki inhone jaise kasam kha liya ho ki jab tak India ke saare logon ko pahanne ko kapde nahin mil jate tab tak ye poore kapde nahin pahnengi. Aur Emran Hashmi ki jitni tareef ki jaye utni kam hai, inhe to Serial Kisser ka award milna chahiye.

Bollywood ke saare actors apne alag alag andaaz ke liye jaane jate hain. Jaise Salman apne shirt nikalne ke wajah se, Sunny apne 2.5 kilo ke haath ke wajah se, Govinda apni batteesi dikhane ke wajah se, Ajay Devgan apne stunt ke wajah se jaane jate hain. Kuch actors ko unke acting skills ke wajah se naya title bhi mil gaye hain, for instance Shahrukh is also known as King Khan, Aamir as Ace Khan (or Mr. Perfectionist) etc etc.

Lastly, it’s a request from the bollywood industry to stop remakes and ghisa pita dialogues. They shud make more films on real incidents of day to day life, by this we can get rid of those repeated dialogues and get to watch something new everytime.[:)]

Ending today’s talk with the following words : “When you have so much pain in your heart and you want to cry, the only person who can stop you from crying is exactly the same person who made you cry.”


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Thursday, December 25, 2008

Shadi Karke Phans Gaya Yaar

Hello frenz, I am ready again with a new topic. The topic this time is Shaadi or in more simpler words barbadi. Today, I am gonna discuss on the relationship between a husband and a wife. But before moving ahead, I want to ask a question from you all. Can you tell me "Why do we all marry??." Any answer??? No?? The answer is pretty simple. To experience the horror, terror, suspense, irony, stupidity & tragedy of life.

Shadi aisa laddoo hota hai jo khaye pachtaye aur jo na khaye pachtaye. Shadi ke bahut saare faayde hote hain, lemme discuss some of them:
1. Subah subah garam pani milega (bartan dhone ke liye)
2. Pyare pyare bachhe milenge (aapko ghoda banane ke liye)
3. Har roz aapki biwi aapse pyar se bolegi (ration lane ke liye)
4. Aap gana gana shuru kar denge (bachhon ko sulane ke liye)
5. Wo roz tayyar hokar saamne aayegi (shopping par jane ke liye)

Ab to aap samajh hi gaye honge ki mera target kiske taraf hai. Yeah, you got it right. I am talking about wife jisse shadi ke baad saare powers mil jate hain aur husband bechara chup chap kone mein pada rahta hai [:p]. If you'll expand the word WIFE, you can get the true nature of these deadly devil. Wife means Without Information, Fighting Everytime[:d]. Wife ko urdu mein begum bolte hain kyonki shadi ke baad saare gum husband ke hisse mein aa jate hain aur wife begum ho jati hai. Ab wife ke baare mein aur kya kahne, unko samajhna kisi bhi husband ke bas ki baat nahin. Wo shadi ke baad 10-15 saal tak tok tok kar aapki saari aadatein badal deti hain aur uske baad khud kahti hain ki " Aap pahle jaise nahin rahe".

Do you know why every girl needs a husband?? because there are number of things that go wrong and for everything you can't blame the government. Husband bechara kare bhi to kya kare, saare ilzaam badi masoomiyat se apne sar le leta hai[:d]. Ek maa hoti hai jo aapko rote hue is duniya mein laati hai aur ek biwi hoti hai jo is baat ka khayal rakhti hai ki aap saari umar rote rahein[:d].

Man before Marriage is like Airtel - “Aisi Azaadi Aur Kahaan”
Man after Marriage is Like Hutch - “Whereever You Go, Our Network Follows.”

Shadi se pahle dulha ghode par sawar hota hai. Aapko pata hai kyon?? Usse akhri chance diya jata hai bhagne ke liye. Lekin wo aage life milne wale 3rd degree se anjaan, khushi khushi sawar hokar dulhan ke yahan chala jata hai. Lekin shadi ke baad jab wo usee ghode ko dhoondta hai tab tak bahut late ho chuka hota hai kyonki tab tak uske khud ghode banne ka time aa chuka hota hai (apne bachhon ke liye).

Shadi ke baad husband ka naam bhi har saal change hota rahta hai:
1st year - Janu
2nd year - O jee
3rd year - Sunte ho
4th year - O pappu ke papa
5th year - Kahan mar gaye
6th year - Tum aate ho ki main aaoon

Husband apni biwi ke saare zulm hansi khushi jhelta hai aur aisa pretend karta hai jaise kuch hua hi nahin. Upar wale ne bahut bada dil diya hai husband logon ko [:d]. Shadi ke baad apni biwi ke har tedhe medhe sawal ka jawab deta hai. Waise biwiyon ke sawal bhi kam khatarnaak nahin hote. Unke sawal mein agar ek option phansi hota hai to doosra option umar qaid. Sabse common question jo abhi tak main TV serials aur movies mein sunta aaya hoon wo hai " Aapko mujhme mein kaun se cheez zyada pasand hai? Meri khoobsoorti ya meri akalmandi? " Koi husband khoobsoorti choose karta hai to koi akalmandi. Dono case mein usko biwi ka gussa jhelna padta hai. Agar mujhse bhi ye sawal kiya jayega to main kahoonga ki mujhe to tumhari ye mazak karne ki aadat sabse zyada pasand hai[:d].

Sunday ko ek special edition aata hai "Classifieds", jisme rishte hi rishte bhare hote hain thok (wholesale) ke bhaw mein. Aap agar gaur se dekhiyega to aapko usme ek se ek case milenge, jinhe padhkar aapko hansi bhi aa sakti hai. Ek baar maine dekha ki 80 saal ke aadmi ne rishte ke liye advertisement diya hai. Ab usse kaun samjhaye ki is umar mein rishte nahin , farishtey aate hain [:d].

I love collecting jokes and shayari. I have got a couple of husband wife jokes in my collection. Let me share them with you.

Ek baar ek husband ne apne wife ko thappar maara jispar wife naraaz ho gayee. Husband ne apne naraaz wife se bola " Aadmi usee ko maarta hai jisse pyaar karta hai". Phir wife apne husband ko 2 thappar maarkar kahti hai "Aap kya samajhte hain, main aapse pyaar nahin kerti?"[:d]

Ek baar husband wife mein ladai ho gaya. Husband ghar se chala gaya. Raat ko apni wife ko phone karke poochta hai ki " Khane mein kya hai?". Wife kahti hai "Zahar". Ispar husband kahta hai " Main ghar late se aaoonga, tum khakar so jana"[:p].

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. Zindagi mushkil ho ya asaan, husband aur wife naam ke do pahiyon par aage badhti chali jati hai. Agar aap abhi bhi shadi karna chahte hain to shadi ke baad milne wali 3rd degree ka training lena abhi se hi shuru kar dijiye [:d].

I want to end today's talk with the following words : "You can fall in love with the personality(men) or beauty(women) of anyone. But remember finally you have to live with the character and not the personality or beauty."

Monday, December 22, 2008

Aye Zindagi Gale Laga Le

Zindagi zakhmon se bhari hai, waqt ko marham banana seekh lo
Harna maut ke saamne hai, filhaal zindagi se jeetna seekh lo.


Hello frenz, Imran aap sabke saamne phirse haazir hai. Is baar main jis topic par bolne ja raha hoon wo hum sabhi ke paas hai lekin kab saath chhor jaye pata nahin. Yup, u got it right. This time I am going to deliver my speech on Life and some of its facts. As life itself is a fact so I'll keep it apart with the witty nature of mine. Kyonki jo zindagi ko mazak mein leta hai wo aage chal kar khud mazak ban jata hai [:)]

What is life?? Kya aapne kabhi socha hai? Of course we all know what is meant by the word "life", but how would you define it? Even the wisest people have a tough time describing what a life is. There can be various meanings of life (ofcourse leaving apart the biological definition). Let me put some in front of you:

1. To make life meaningful.
2. To take care of our planet.
3. To learn from mistakes.
4. To love and serve God.
5. To die and multiply etc etc etc.

To tell you the truth, I don't think anyone knows the true meaning of life. People say that the only way to know the true meaning of life is to live a full life with many near death experiences, then God tells you an instant after you have died. If you have a complex enough mind, and when God wants us to know, he will tell someone after they die and let that person be revived to tell the rest of the human race. If that never happens then we will just have to live life with a big question mark in front of the sentence "WHAT IS LIFE".

Coming out of this question, lets discuss some of its facts and other various aspects. Koi aapse pooche ki zindagi ki sabse badi sachhayee kya hai to aap kya jawab denge? Mujhse koi poochega to mera ek hi jawab hoga : DEATH ya MAUT. Everyday man sees persons dying in front of him, yet he wants to live forever. Ajeeb lagta hai na??? Koi isse accept nahin karna chahta, lekin ye to ek din hona hai aur hokar hi rahega.[:)]

Zindagi ki talash mein, hum maut ke kitne paas aa gaye
Jab ye socha to hum ghabra gaye, hum ghabra gaye.

I believe that suicide is the most sincere form of self criticism. Jo log khud se nahin lad pate ya ye kahiye ki thak kar haar jate hain aksar wohi log suicide karte hain. Koi maangne par bhi zindagi dene ko tayyar nahin aur koi bin maange hi apni zindagi de deta hai.

Talking about zindagi ki doosri sabse badi sachhayee, mere khayal se ye HAAR ya DEFEAT hai. Life is truly known only to those who suffer, lose and stumble from defeat to defeat. If you learn from defeat, you haven't really lost. Jo hamesha jeet te hain, victory becomes monotonous for them. Jeet ki khushi kya hoti hai, agar ye dekhna hai to us insaan ke chehre par dekho jisse na jaane kitne dino aur kitne mushkilon ke baad jeet naseeb hui hai. Haar ko bhi usee khushi se apnao jis tarah se khushi ko apnate aaye ho, phir dekho zindagi se koi bhi shikayat nahin rahegi. [:)]

zindagi ki kahani yahi hai
haar mein hi to jeet chupi hai
har tamanna ho poori hamari
aisa bhi to zaroori nahin hai
gham ke saaye mein palti khushi hai
haar se haar jana nahin kyonki haar mein hi to jeet chupi hai.

Now I would like to share some of my personal feelings, what I have learnt from this world and more importantly from this four lettered word LIFE. Though honesty is the best policy but a person should not be too honest. Straight trees are cut first and honest people are screwed first. Never share your secrets with anyone. Agar aap apne kisi dost se apna secret ye sochkar share karte hain ki wo apne tak hi rakhega aur kisi doosre ko nahin batayega to aap galat hain. When u cant keep ur secrets wid yourself then how can u even think your friend to keep it with himself and not share it wid others.

Zindagi bahut kuch sikhati hai ,
Kabhi hansati hai, kabhi rulati hai ,
Khud se zyada kisipe bharosa mat karna ,
Andhere mein to parchayee bhi saath chhor jati hai

Everyone in this world is trying to accomplish something big, not realizing that life is made up of little things. Always take extra care of 3 things in your life: trust , promise and relationships because they dont make a noise when they break. Agar koi aap par bharosa kare to kabhi us bharose to tootne mat dena. Same is the case with promise and relationship. Never try to break them [:)]. Jahan tak meri baat hai, maine aajtak kabhi kisi ka bharosa ya phir vaada nahin toda hai. But when it comes to relationship, maine bahut rishton ko toda hai ya phir saamne wale ne toda diye hain. Mere relatives, friends (real + virtual), acquaintance etc etc aise bahut log hain jisse main baat nahin karta. I believe in honest relationships and when I find it lacking, I break them up.All I can say is that friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate. There are lots more to say on this topic, hopefully will write a blog on this and will put my views later on...

Zindagi hamesha khud ke liye nahin jeeni chahiye. Aise bahut se log hain jinki dor aapki zindagi se bandhi hai, jo aapse ummeed lagaye hue hain, unke liye bhi jeene ki koshish karna chahiye. Agar aap ki zindagi kisi ke kaam aati hai to ye aapki khushnaseebi hai, try to grab that opportunity wid both your hands.

Darta hai zamane ke nigahon se bhala kyon
Insaaf tere saath hai, ilzaam utha le
Kya khaak hai wo jeena jo apne hi liye ho
Khud ko mita kar, kisi aur ko mitne se bacha le

The trouble with life is, you're halfway through it before you realise it's a "do-it-yourself" thing. Isliye better late than never. Aaj se hi apni zindagi ko samajhna shuru kar dijiye. If you havent started yet then start taking your life seriously from today itself.[:)] Life means missing expected things and facing unexpected things. When you are right no one remembers but when you are wrong no one forgets. Never try to hide your mistakes, kam se kam issee bahane log to aapko yaad rakhenge. Just think about it.

Last but not the least, I wanna sum up everything in three words I've learned about life : "IT GOES ON"

Ending today’s talk with a very famous quote of all time : “In life when you get troubles, dont get nervous. Just close your eyes and follow your heart. Because heart may be in left but it is always right.”

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Ufff Ye Ladkiyan

Hello everyone......I have got a very sensitive topic this time... Its none other than "Girls". Upar wale ne do tarah ke insaan banaye, ek ladka aur ek ladki. We can say that boys and girls are the two sides of the same coin. Dono ek doosre se kisi maamle mein kam nahin hai.But today I'll throw light on some of the funny aspects of girls. Filhaal to main unki watt laga deta hoon lekin mujhe maloom hai ki baad mein wo log meri watt lagayenge [:d]....


Agar "girl" word ko expand kiya jaye to ye kaha ja sakta hai:

G - Gossip mein sabse aage

I - Innocent sirf shakal se

R - Rone ki automatic machine

L - Ladayee mein sabki maa


In short words, ye kaha ja sakta hai ki upar wale ne unhe aisa bheja ki bheje mein bheja hi nahin bheja. [:d]. Aage inke baare mein kya kahoon, jitna kahoon utna kam hai. [:p]. Ladke jitna make up saari umar bhar karte hain, utne to ye ladkiyan ek din mein karti hain. Waise ye make up ladkon ko attract karne ke liya karti hain aur aajkal ke kuch bewakoof ladke bhi unke peeche pad jate hain [:d]. lekin ek baat bata deta hoon:


Duniya ki har ladki ek phool hai,

Lekin usse chahna ek bhool hai.

Jo inki soch mein gul hai,

Uske exam mein fail hone ke chances full hai.


Ladkon ko sabse zyada darr ladkiyon ke father se lagta hai. Unhe aisa lagta hai ki jaise ladki ka father unke love story mein villain ka role play kar raha hai.


Dil ka dard dil todne wale kya jaane,

Pyar ke rivazon ko zamana kya jaane,

Hoti hai kitni takleef ladki patane mein,

Ye ghar pe baitha ladki ka baap kya jaane.


Ladkiyon ko samajhna asaan khel nahin. Ladkiyon ko samjhne ki jitni koshish karogi utna hi ulajh jaoge [:d]


Ladki ek aisi paheli hai,

Kabhi teri to kabhi meri saheli hai.

Kharcha karo to bole "darling, how are you?".

Na karo to bole "brother, who are you?".


Maine bahut saare movies mein ladkiyon ko bolte suna hai ki meri har ek saans par kayee log marte hain. Main agar wahan hota to usko pepsodent dekar bolta ki ye lo aur roz subah aur raat ko brush karna, aage se koi nahin marega [:d]. Waise there are two types of girls, one is a good girl and the other is a bad girl. Difference between a good girl and a bad girl is that a good girl opens a few buttons in hot atmosphere but a bad girl opens all buttons to make the atmosphere hot. [:d]


Ladki patane ke liye ladke ek se ek trick ka use karte hain. Kuch successful hote hain aur kuch flop ho jate hain. Agar kabhi gadbadi lage to ye ladke beech ka rasta nikalne mein bhi maahir hain. Jaise,


Dil ki baat dil mein mat rakhna

Jo ho pasand usse "ILU" kahna

Agar wo itrayee, gusse mein aayee to rakhi nikalna

Aur kahna "Pyari bahna, milte rahna" [:p].


Those who have gone through my earlier blogs must be thinking that I am over cautious today on this topic. Hona padta hai yaar, kyonki mujhe abhi aur jeena hai [:d]. Is topic par agar zyada bola to bahut problem face karne pad sakte hain kyonki ladkiyan, they are like gold medalist in blame game [:d]. Waise main aur likh sakta tha lekin kahte hain na ki samajhdaaron ke liye ishara hi kaafi hota hai aur maine ishara de diya hai, jo samajhdaar honge wo khud samajh jayenge [:p].


Wanna end today’s talk with the following words:

“The eyes see all things but cannot see themselves. Similarly, people see the faults of others but they do not see their own.”

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Ekta Kapoor : Patni Ko Kare Apne Pati Se Door


Guys, I am here again wid my poison and the topic this time is ekkkta kkkapoor "anaconda of daily soaps". hooodi babaaa, ye to mere se bhi zyada zahreeli nikli. You must be wondering why i have written two extra Ks in her name ekta as well as kapoor.Aaplog samajh rahe honge ki mere andar kahin shahrukh ki aatma to nahin aa gayee, i mean kkkkkkkiran wali[:p].Lekin aisa nahin hai, jo iske serials dekhte hain unko batane ki zaroorat nahin aur jo nahin dekhte hain unko bata deta hoon, its because the name of all her serials starts with letter 'K'. Kyonki saas bhi kabhi bahu thee, kahani ghar ghar ki, kasauti zindagi ki, kahin kisi roz, kahin to hoga, kusum, kutumb, kasam se.... ufffffffff uffffffff ufffffffff ab aur nahin likh sakta. Aur likha to maloom hua ki baki saare alphabets bhool jaoonga aur sirf 'K' hi yaad rah jayega.


Ekta Kapoor is the undisputed leader of family soaps. Aurtein to apne bachhe phenk kar iske serials dekhti hain. 8 baje se iska torcher karna start hota hai aur 12 baje tak chalta rahta hai. Aap chahe jo bhi channel ghuma lein, iske serials har jagah dikh jayenge. Iske serials aate hi wife apne husband ko shak ke nazar se dekhne lagti hai, usse apna husband bura lagne lagta hai, uske dimaag mein ek se ek khayalaat aane lagte hain "kahin inka koi chakkar to nahin chal raha?","kahin inhone doosri shadi to nahin kar li?","kahin ye mujhe dhoka to nahin de rahe?" etc etc etc. Ghar mein husband aur bachhe bhook se mar rahe hote hain lekin unke upar koi dhyan nahin diya jata hai aur serials mein tulsi, parvati aur prerna ka husband mar jaye to unke liye ansoo thamne ka naam hi nahin lete.[:d] "kitna achha tha mihir, us bechare ko maar dala, ab tulsi ka kya hoga", ansoo to fountain ke tarah aise nikalte hain jaise khud ka husband mar gaya ho.[:p].


All her serials have the same old boring story and she keeps on stretching them, like a chewing gum, for years. Her scenes are so predictible that one starts believeing that “Am I a future predictor or what?”. Serial ke saare female characters ka weight shooting start hone se pahle 1kg badh jata hai, pata hai kyon? arre yaar, make up hi itna karti hain. Agar yamraj bhi lene aayega to pahchan nahin payega aur bina liye hi wapas chala jayega[:d]. Ek baar koi unhe bina make-up ke dekh le, mera ankle unke shakal se zyada achha niklega [:p][:d].


Now lets have a look at some of her serials. Lets start with "kyonki saas bhi kabhi bahu thee". Actually, its not a serial but an incident. pata hai kaise?? ek baar ek saas ne dekha ki uske bahu ke room se koi aadmi nikla, deewar kooda aur bhag gaya. saas chup rahi. pata hai kyon??? kyonki saas bhi kabhi bahu thee[:p]. Is serial ke 1000 se upar episode ho gaye hain lekin serial hai ki khatam hone ka naam hi nahin le raha hai. All the characters just refuse to grow old. In fact the problem is so extreme that it is practically impossible to differentiate the saas from the bahus. I dont know how come all the characters even after being 100+ in age appear so young. If anyone knows the trick then please let me know. One such character is "BAA", pata nahin uski maan ne usko bachpan mein kaun si janam ghutti pilayee thee ki tapakne ka naam hi nahin le rahi hai. Uske bete, pote, par pote sab mar rahe hain lekin baa hai ki abhi bhi uchhal kood rahi hai jaise aaj hi janam hua ho uska. Ek baar mil jaye mujhe, pahla sawal yahi hoga "baa, kaun se chakki ka atta khati ho? " [:p]. Ek baar Tulsi ka husband Mihir mar gaya, phir kya tha.....poore country mein halla hungama ho gaya. Sab ekta kapoor ko letter likhne lage ki mihir ko zinda karo and guess what??? Mihir zinda ho gaya…. public demand hai bhai, poori to karni hi padegi.


Talking about another serial of Ekta Kapoor which is "Kasauti zindagi ki". Isme lead character play kiya tha Prerna ne. Uski zindagi bhi ajeeb thee, kabhi Anurag ke saath to kabhi Bajaj ke saath, bachhe pata nahin kiske ho rahe thein, bachhe bhi pareshan thein ki papa kisse bulayein. The worst thing about EK's serials are polygamy and extra-marital affairs which rules almost all her serials. Kab kiski shadi kisse ho jaye, kuch kaha nahin ja sakta aur bachhe to darjan ke bhav mein hote hain lekin sawal wahi rahta hai ki “ Mera Papa Kaun???”, aur ye aisa sawal hota hai jiska jawab uske maa ke paas bhi nahin hota.[:d]


Two most famous characters of EK’s serials are Tulsi & Parvati - the ever fighting women who never let any one have a good sleep because of their "SHAATIR CHAAL”. Actually they were the villains but they are so good at playing with other peoples mind that they make us believe that good is actually bad and bad is not bad but actually no good is good.[:o] Did you guys get me?? If yes then hats off to you kyonki mujhe khud nahin pata ki maine previous line mein kya likha hai. [:p][:d].


Waise to aur bhi serials hain discuss karne ke liye, agar ek ek karke sabka operation karne laga to Ekta Kapoor ke ek naye serial ka script ready ho jayega. Aur galti se uske haath lag gaya to hum sabko ek aur serial jhelna padega. Isliye filhaal 2 hi serial ka operation kafi hai.


Ab aap sab soch rahe honge ki mujhe in serials ke baare mein kaise pata?? Main TV kabhi nahin dekhta, serials to galti se bhi nahin [:d]. Actually meri bhi ek K wali kahani hai. Mere ghar mein bhi ek patient hai jo doctor Ekta Kapoor se checkup karaye bina sota nahin hai. Yup, u got it right. I am talking about my mother. Meri mummy ko bhi K wali beemari lag gayee hai. Galti se bhi 1 minute ka episode chhoot jaye to agle din poore 30 min ka repeat telecast dekhkar hi dum leti hain. 1 minute ke badle 30 minute. Meri mummy ka bhi jawab nahin [:d]. 8 baje se lekar 12 baje tak ghar ke doosre kaam break mein hi hote hain. Aur phir agle din apni dono sisters se saare serials phone par 1 ghanta discuss karti hain, “Janti ho…..”, “Pata hai……”,”Maloom hai aaj kya hua?”….. aur is wajah se mujhe saare serials ke highlight sunne ko mil jate hain. Aur aaj to main apni mummy ko thanks bhi bolne wala hoon kyonki isee highlights ke wajah se main aaj ye blog likh paya.


Upar wale, utha le, aaj to sachmuch ka utha le. Arre mujhe nahin[:o], ekta kapoor ko. Jab uthane bolta hoon to meri taraf dekhne lag jate ho, mujhe uthane ke liye ready ho jate ho[:o]. Filhaal to Ekta Kapoor ko utha lo, jab mera number aayega to main SMS kar doonga[:d]. Isse uthaoge to saare husband bahut dua denge.[:p]


Ailla [:o], lagta hai ki mazak mazak mein aaj bhi kuch zyada hi lamba likh diya hai. Ab aap log gussa hokar mujhe uthane ka planning mat karne lagna. Wo kya hai ki, bak bak karte hue time ka pata nahin chalta hai [:d]


I would like to end today’s talk with the following words:

“If I can’t be a pencil to write anyone’s happiness. I’ll try atleast to be a nice rubber to erase everyone’s sorrow”