Ekta Kapoor : Patni Ko Kare Apne Pati Se Door

Guys, I am here again wid my poison and the topic this time is ekkkta kkkapoor "anaconda of daily soaps". hooodi babaaa, ye to mere se bhi zyada zahreeli nikli. You must be wondering why i have written two extra Ks in her name ekta as well as kapoor.Aaplog samajh rahe honge ki mere andar kahin shahrukh ki aatma to nahin aa gayee, i mean kkkkkkkiran wali[:p].Lekin aisa nahin hai, jo iske serials dekhte hain unko batane ki zaroorat nahin aur jo nahin dekhte hain unko bata deta hoon, its because the name of all her serials starts with letter 'K'. Kyonki saas bhi kabhi bahu thee, kahani ghar ghar ki, kasauti zindagi ki, kahin kisi roz, kahin to hoga, kusum, kutumb, kasam se.... ufffffffff uffffffff ufffffffff ab aur nahin likh sakta. Aur likha to maloom hua ki baki saare alphabets bhool jaoonga aur sirf 'K' hi yaad rah jayega.

Ekta Kapoor is the undisputed leader of family soaps. Aurtein to apne bachhe phenk kar iske serials dekhti hain. 8 baje se iska torcher karna start hota hai aur 12 baje tak chalta rahta hai. Aap chahe jo bhi channel ghuma lein, iske serials har jagah dikh jayenge. Iske serials aate hi wife apne husband ko shak ke nazar se dekhne lagti hai, usse apna husband bura lagne lagta hai, uske dimaag mein ek se ek khayalaat aane lagte hain "kahin inka koi chakkar to nahin chal raha?","kahin inhone doosri shadi to nahin kar li?","kahin ye mujhe dhoka to nahin de rahe?" etc etc etc. Ghar mein husband aur bachhe bhook se mar rahe hote hain lekin unke upar koi dhyan nahin diya jata hai aur serials mein tulsi, parvati aur prerna ka husband mar jaye to unke liye ansoo thamne ka naam hi nahin lete.[:d] "kitna achha tha mihir, us bechare ko maar dala, ab tulsi ka kya hoga", ansoo to fountain ke tarah aise nikalte hain jaise khud ka husband mar gaya ho.[:p].

All her serials have the same old boring story and she keeps on stretching them, like a chewing gum, for years. Her scenes are so predictible that one starts believeing that “Am I a future predictor or what?”. Serial ke saare female characters ka weight shooting start hone se pahle 1kg badh jata hai, pata hai kyon? arre yaar, make up hi itna karti hain. Agar yamraj bhi lene aayega to pahchan nahin payega aur bina liye hi wapas chala jayega[:d]. Ek baar koi unhe bina make-up ke dekh le, mera ankle unke shakal se zyada achha niklega [:p][:d].

Now lets have a look at some of her serials. Lets start with "kyonki saas bhi kabhi bahu thee". Actually, its not a serial but an incident. pata hai kaise?? ek baar ek saas ne dekha ki uske bahu ke room se koi aadmi nikla, deewar kooda aur bhag gaya. saas chup rahi. pata hai kyon??? kyonki saas bhi kabhi bahu thee[:p]. Is serial ke 1000 se upar episode ho gaye hain lekin serial hai ki khatam hone ka naam hi nahin le raha hai. All the characters just refuse to grow old. In fact the problem is so extreme that it is practically impossible to differentiate the saas from the bahus. I dont know how come all the characters even after being 100+ in age appear so young. If anyone knows the trick then please let me know. One such character is "BAA", pata nahin uski maan ne usko bachpan mein kaun si janam ghutti pilayee thee ki tapakne ka naam hi nahin le rahi hai. Uske bete, pote, par pote sab mar rahe hain lekin baa hai ki abhi bhi uchhal kood rahi hai jaise aaj hi janam hua ho uska. Ek baar mil jaye mujhe, pahla sawal yahi hoga "baa, kaun se chakki ka atta khati ho? " [:p]. Ek baar Tulsi ka husband Mihir mar gaya, phir kya tha.....poore country mein halla hungama ho gaya. Sab ekta kapoor ko letter likhne lage ki mihir ko zinda karo and guess what??? Mihir zinda ho gaya…. public demand hai bhai, poori to karni hi padegi.

Talking about another serial of Ekta Kapoor which is "Kasauti zindagi ki". Isme lead character play kiya tha Prerna ne. Uski zindagi bhi ajeeb thee, kabhi Anurag ke saath to kabhi Bajaj ke saath, bachhe pata nahin kiske ho rahe thein, bachhe bhi pareshan thein ki papa kisse bulayein. The worst thing about EK's serials are polygamy and extra-marital affairs which rules almost all her serials. Kab kiski shadi kisse ho jaye, kuch kaha nahin ja sakta aur bachhe to darjan ke bhav mein hote hain lekin sawal wahi rahta hai ki “ Mera Papa Kaun???”, aur ye aisa sawal hota hai jiska jawab uske maa ke paas bhi nahin hota.[:d]

Two most famous characters of EK’s serials are Tulsi & Parvati - the ever fighting women who never let any one have a good sleep because of their "SHAATIR CHAAL”. Actually they were the villains but they are so good at playing with other peoples mind that they make us believe that good is actually bad and bad is not bad but actually no good is good.[:o] Did you guys get me?? If yes then hats off to you kyonki mujhe khud nahin pata ki maine previous line mein kya likha hai. [:p][:d].

Waise to aur bhi serials hain discuss karne ke liye, agar ek ek karke sabka operation karne laga to Ekta Kapoor ke ek naye serial ka script ready ho jayega. Aur galti se uske haath lag gaya to hum sabko ek aur serial jhelna padega. Isliye filhaal 2 hi serial ka operation kafi hai.

Ab aap sab soch rahe honge ki mujhe in serials ke baare mein kaise pata?? Main TV kabhi nahin dekhta, serials to galti se bhi nahin [:d]. Actually meri bhi ek K wali kahani hai. Mere ghar mein bhi ek patient hai jo doctor Ekta Kapoor se checkup karaye bina sota nahin hai. Yup, u got it right. I am talking about my mother. Meri mummy ko bhi K wali beemari lag gayee hai. Galti se bhi 1 minute ka episode chhoot jaye to agle din poore 30 min ka repeat telecast dekhkar hi dum leti hain. 1 minute ke badle 30 minute. Meri mummy ka bhi jawab nahin [:d]. 8 baje se lekar 12 baje tak ghar ke doosre kaam break mein hi hote hain. Aur phir agle din apni dono sisters se saare serials phone par 1 ghanta discuss karti hain, “Janti ho…..”, “Pata hai……”,”Maloom hai aaj kya hua?”….. aur is wajah se mujhe saare serials ke highlight sunne ko mil jate hain. Aur aaj to main apni mummy ko thanks bhi bolne wala hoon kyonki isee highlights ke wajah se main aaj ye blog likh paya.

Upar wale, utha le, aaj to sachmuch ka utha le. Arre mujhe nahin[:o], ekta kapoor ko. Jab uthane bolta hoon to meri taraf dekhne lag jate ho, mujhe uthane ke liye ready ho jate ho[:o]. Filhaal to Ekta Kapoor ko utha lo, jab mera number aayega to main SMS kar doonga[:d]. Isse uthaoge to saare husband bahut dua denge.[:p]

Ailla [:o], lagta hai ki mazak mazak mein aaj bhi kuch zyada hi lamba likh diya hai. Ab aap log gussa hokar mujhe uthane ka planning mat karne lagna. Wo kya hai ki, bak bak karte hue time ka pata nahin chalta hai [:d]

I would like to end today’s talk with the following words:

“If I can’t be a pencil to write anyone’s happiness. I’ll try atleast to be a nice rubber to erase everyone’s sorrow”